What Is The #HusbandNotDad (hash tag)? Down The Rabbit Hole Of An Unlikely Hashtag by P. Frank


What Is The #HusbandNotDad? Down The Rabbit Hole Of An Unlikely Hashtag by P. Frank

If your spouse is five (especially ten) more years younger or older than you are, IMO, that is gross gross gross gross.

I have never supported “May-December” relationships, and I blogged about it (Link): here. I’m usually a pretty live and let live type of person, but the age gap thing has always grossed me out.

When you are 20 and your husband is 40, I sure hope you enjoy things when you’re 40 and changing his adult diapers when he’s 60. Or the ages are 60 and 80. Good luck with that.

(Link): What Is The #HusbandNotDad? Down The Rabbit Hole Of An Unlikely Hashtag


Welcome to a unique pocket of the internet, where women in heterosexual, monogamous relationships enact the decorum of outsiders.

…The hashtag: #HusbandNotDad.

It’s a short and confusing collection of words. But the tag’s meaning couldn’t be more straightforward. The man pictured alongside McCullough is her romantic partner, not the man who raised her.

He is husband and definitely not dad.

You might not have asked, but there it is.

Continue reading “What Is The #HusbandNotDad (hash tag)? Down The Rabbit Hole Of An Unlikely Hashtag by P. Frank”

All Dating Advice is as Terrible As the People Who Give It by Oliver Burkeman

All dating advice is as terrible as the people who give it

I saw this article awhile back and meant to blog about it but forgot until today.

I agree. Most all dating advice I’ve ever seen or heard has been terrible. It’s usually based on unrealistic stereotypes, or only what worked for the particular person who wrote it. What worked for your friend in snagging a spouse may not work for you, so I don’t know why people bother to give this advice or read it.

The only reason I bother to ever read it is to “hate read” it. I’m interested in seeing what awful advice the writers are doling out to adult singles.

A lot of dating advice does not work. I do occasionally see a point or two that is valid, but the lion’s share of dating advice I’ve seen just does not work. I think most dating advice, especially the advice being hyped in books, is bogus. It’s all about making a buck off lonely hearts.

Anyway, a lot of criticisms this guy has about dating advice are the same issues and problems I’ve noticed with it over the years, and some of the criticisms he raises are one reason I usually give most dating advice books and columns little to no attention.

(Link): All dating advice is as terrible as the people who give it 

As a rule, you should be skeptical of anyone offering advice about anything – including me, and including this sentence.

But as the annual exercise in twee consumerism formerly known as Valentine’s Day rolls round again, it’s worth issuing a reminder that you should be especially skeptical of anyone offering advice on love, romance or relationships. No other sub-genre of self-help seems so prone to confused reasoning, conflicts of interest or folk wisdom masquerading as science.

Everyone has ulterior motives.

There’s a good chance that anybody emitting romantic tips is a deeply insecure (Link): life-choice evangelist – that they’ve chosen some path (to marry young, or to wait, to have children, to stay single, etc) and they’re not sure it was right.

Their uncertainty manifests itself as a desperate attempt to persuade you that it’s the best choice for you, too.

One (Link): 2013 study concluded that both single and coupled-up people are prejudiced in favor of those who share that status – even in contexts where it’s irrelevant, such as choosing whom to vote for, or to hire.

(Significantly, the bias was stronger among those who considered their situation most permanent. The more you feel condemned to eternal singlehood or trapped in marriage, the researchers reasoned, the more insistent you’ll be that “one’s current situation [is] an ideal – not just for oneself, but universally.”)

The opposite (but no less irritating) phenomenon occurs when dating advice represents choices the advice-giver didn’t make, but wishes he or she had.

The classic case here, I’d argue, is Susan Patton, aka ‘Princeton Mom’, who (Link): made headlines a couple of years back by urging Ivy League women to snag a husband from among their classmates in time for graduation.

Why? Apparently because she (Link): wishes she’d done so herself. Would she have been happier that way? She has no way of knowing, of course.

Does that matter? What, in the nonsense-saturated field of dating guidance? You must be kidding!

You should also distrust anyone who adopts a jaded tone and speaks of dating as warfare or as a market, and implies that you’re terribly naive if you think it’s anything more than a cynical power game. (Telltale signs include quoting (Link): The Rules, or mentioning evolutionary psychology.)

Continue reading “All Dating Advice is as Terrible As the People Who Give It by Oliver Burkeman”

Teen Girl Willingly Loses Her Virginity to Her Biological Father Knowing He Is Her Biological Father ~ They Plan to Marry and Have Kids

Teen Girl Willingly Loses Her Virginity to Her Biological Father Knowing He Is Her Biological Father ~ They Plan to Marry and Have Kids

(Link):   Teenager loses virginity to her estranged DAD and now plans to marry him

This story is so gross.

I think the young lady in the story – who was about 17 years of age when the “relationship” (as in sex and dating) started with her biological father – bears a tiny bit less of the responsibility in this than her father, who was about 35 or 36 when this began. But she should still know better, so I’m not giving her a pass.

I think the girl is an idiot, in addition to being a sexual deviant.

Due to immaturity, insecurity, admitted sexual and relationship confusion on her part, and lack of life experience, she is being made a fool of.

Her father, who was mid 30s when this began, is exploiting her. I do not even care if, from the girl’s view, that this is “consensual”.

It is so damn easy for anyone over the age of 25 to emotionally manipulate someone who is under age 25 – and make that double if the older person is age 35, 45, or older. Older adults can manipulate and scam the hell out of you if you are below 25, and you won’t even notice it at the time.

I don’t think this girl understands she cannot trust her father. She thinks he is more trustworthy to date precisely because he is her dad (you can read her rationale below).

That her father is willing to have sex with his own biological daughter indicates he is a predator, not a trustworthy father. A real, caring father is NOT going to step over this line and have sexual dealings with his own kid.

But she confuses things, to thinking, well, this is the man who gave me Barbie dolls and teddy bears when I  was a girl, ergo, it’s safer for me to enter a romantic relationship with him than with a guy I’m not related to.

She has it all wrong. If her dad was truly a stand up guy, he would never, ever have touched her sexually, and it is irrelevant if she agreed to it or not.

When asked about these issues in the interview, she says no worries, her mother taught her self defense, like how to kick a man in the crotch.

She is so effing naive… she is being EMOTIONALLY (as well as sexually) manipulated and exploited and does not even recognize it; she equates being abused only with PHYSICAL abuse. Her father just wants in her pants, like any horny boy her own age who she’s not related to, and she’s permitting it. She doesn’t even see what is happening.

As someone on another site astutely observed, sex before marriage is now considered even more passe’ since this girl says in her interview about the incest that she and her biological father began having sex and THEN afterwards began dating.

Yes. So. People are having sex first and THEN dating and THEN marrying.

One of the interesting or amusing things I see in some articles that are critical of her relationship (and under comments about the story of the man who is married to a woman, but he claims to have sex with a horse regularly), are the number of pro-homosexuality persons who get upset by this.

By the way, in the interview with the man who has sex with a horse, he says that his horse consents to the sex. He claims that. Go read the article, don’t ask me to explain or defend it. I don’t agree that a horse can give consent to having sex with a person.

It angers homosexuality advocates that the men who want to have sex with horses, or their own daughters, use the same, exact claims and arguments that the pro homosexual lobby does, such as, “I was born this way,” and, “as long as its consensual, it’s okay,” and, “who are you to judge.”

As for the idiot who left a comment under the Science of Us article: that the Bible mentions incidents of incest does not mean that God approves of incest. Duh.

I also think this story goes to once again show that the Christian propaganda that being married or a parent makes a person more mature and godly is false. Being married or a parent is not an indication of someone’s morals or ethics or maturity. Here you have a man who has been married, has a biological daughter, and is having sex with her.

Also, if, as Christians maintain, married sex is so “mind blowing,” why did the father in this story divorce the mother and end up having sex with his own daughter? If the “mind blowing” propaganda were true, would this man not have been sexually satisfied with his wife, (or later, with the adult girlfriend he had) – why is he having sex with his biological daughter?

Before proceeding reading this, you may want to have a trash can handy so you can throw up.

(Link):  What It’s Like to Date Your Dad – from Science of Us site


  • By Alexa Tsoulis-Reay / Jan 15, 2015
  • …Consensual incest between fathers and their daughters remains the least reported and perhaps the most taboo sort of GSA relationship. Keith Pullman, who runs a marriage equality blog, has personally talked to over 20 GSA couples and notes that he’s only had a few father-daughter couples speak out, speculating that many of them fear that others will assume the daughter must have been abused in childhood (it should be said that when these unions lead to children, those children can face potentially serious difficulties as a result of the genetic implications of incest, even if some online communities downplay these risks).Here, an 18-year-old woman from the Great Lakes region describes her romantic relationship of almost two years with the biological father she met after 12 years of estrangement.
  • What was your family like when you were growing up?

  • My parents had me when they were 18 — they met in high school and I was conceived on prom night. They were serious for about six months but broke up while my mom was still pregnant with me. My dad wasn’t there when I was born. [Her dad had hardly any contact with her as she grew up because her mother would not permit it]
  • …. Can you remember much from your time with your dad when you were little?

  • I have some memories. He spoiled me rotten. I had this giant storage tote of Barbie dolls and I had my own Mary-Kate and Ashley bedroom. It was a little girl’s dream. We’d sit in the yard blowing bubbles together, and he took me to the zoo where he bought me a stuffed animal that I kept until I was 16. I ended up washing it and stupidly put it in the dryer, which melted all its fur. I remember he gave me a miniature tea set. I still have it.
  • Do you think it triggered the abandonment you felt from your own dad?

  • Yeah. I think I was subconsciously replaying what I’d been through.
  • Did you date when you were a teenager?
  • I didn’t really have a social life. I stayed home a lot because my mom didn’t trust me, and most of the kids my age were hooked on heroin, so it was hard to find friends. I lived in such a small town where there was nothing to do. In fifth grade I dated a boy for two years.
  • But one night he got drunk and had sex with a girl who ended up pregnant. It f-cked everything up. I told him he had to go and be with this girl and take care of the kid.
  • Did you have sex with that boyfriend?

  • No. I had a girlfriend in middle school and that was the most major sexual experience I’d ever had. But she was very religious and every time we were intimate she would sob and read me verses out of the Bible.
  • It made me feel like I’d hurt her. The second time we did it she cried and said we’d done something wrong and she was worried her grandmother would find out.
  • I was done after that. No more crying, and no more Bible transcripts. She had me in tears because I felt so guilty.
  • How do you define your sexuality?
    I’ve always identified as bisexual.
  • So can you remember what it was like the moment you and your dad were reunited? Was there an instant attraction?
  • It was so weird and confusing. I was seeing my dad for the first time in forever but it was also like, He’s so good-looking! And then I was like, What the hell are you thinking? What is wrong with you? I saw him as my dad but then also part of me was like, I’m meeting this guy who I have been talking to over the internet and really connecting with and I find him attractive.
  • Was there a single moment you realized that you were sexually and romantically attracted to your dad?
    After I had stayed with him for about five days.

    What happened?
    He was living with his girlfriend. On the first night he slept on the couch and I slept on the floor, just to make sure that I was okay.

  • …That night we were play-wrestling in the room I was going to sleep in and I bit him. He was wearing a pair of basketball shorts and a tank top and after I bit him I could see goose bumps pop up from his toes to his shoulders. Then he pinched my inner thigh and I got goose bumps.We stopped and said that we didn’t know what was going on but admitted that we had strong feelings for each other. We discussed whether it was wrong and then we kissed. And then we made out, and then we made love for the first time. That was when I lost my virginity.
  • Did you tell him you were a virgin?
    Yes. I told him I wanted him to be the first person I made love to. We talked about how it could be awkward if it didn’t end up working out. He also said that if I didn’t feel comfortable at any point I should tell him.

Continue reading “Teen Girl Willingly Loses Her Virginity to Her Biological Father Knowing He Is Her Biological Father ~ They Plan to Marry and Have Kids”

Virgins and Celibates are Sexual – Not Asexual and Androgynous – You don’t have to have sex to possess sexuality – Duck Dynasty TV Show Star Phil Robertson Says Men Should Marry Girls ‘when they are 15 or 16’

Phil Robertson seen in new video saying men should marry girls ‘when they are 15 or 16’

(Hat tip to blog visitor Jane Zen who sort of suggested I do a post about this story.)

Before I give you the links to the news stories about Robertson’s creepy views that adult men should marry 15 year old girls, here are some of my thoughts.

This is incredibly stupid advice on Robertson’s part.

I am a woman. I had no idea who the hell I was in my teen years, and did not know who I was, until I got to my late 30s, because, like many females, especially ones raised in Christian families, I was conditioned (first and foremost by my very traditional, Christian mother) to look outwards, to look outside of myself, to meet the needs of other people.

I was discouraged from putting myself and my feelings and my needs and my life first; I was discouraged by Christian teachings or attitudes that appeared in books, in sermons by preachers, etc, and my Christian mother, not to figure out what I wanted out of life, and not to figure out what made ME happy.

I was taught to define myself by OTHER PEOPLE, what THEY wanted, what THEIR likes and dislikes were.

I grew up being more attentive to people around me (to see how I could make other people happy, to figure out how I could meet their needs) than I did learning about myself and going after what I wanted in life.

So I had no idea who the hell I even was until I began rejecting these codependent, Christian, traditional gender role views in my late 30s. I was not my own person until I got to my late 30s.

I think one of several reasons I have stayed single this long is because I knew, at least in the back of my mind, as far back as my 20s, that marrying would have been a huge mistake for me – I was not ready yet to marry (though I was engaged in my early 30s, but I broke that off).

Many other females are conditioned to be the same way I was. If they marry at 15, they would be nothing but a robotic “Stepford Wife.” They would not be a full partner to a man in a marriage.

Such females would be more like a naive, little daughter who needs a husband who is a “daddy figure” to protect and provide for them. There might be some men who find that sort of female appealing, but the ones who do tend to be SELFISH, CONTROLLING, and ABUSIVE.

Of course, the left wing, liberal sites are picking Robertson apart for his joke (or serious view?) that girls should marry adult men when they are 15 years old.

However, left wingers are hypocrites on this point.

Liberals are hypocrites on this topic since so many of them are fine with homosexual activists, or hetero sexual hedonists, engaging in the following:

> Preaching about homosexuality to children,

    • even ones in kindergarten (who are five years old), and telling them homosexuality is natural and normal
      • (and I’ve read about them teaching public school kids, via their printed curriculum, to experiment in homosexual behavior themselves – not just telling the kids what homosexuality is, but telling them

to go out and try it for themselves

    • );

> teaching kids as young as five how to put a condom on a cucumber;
> teaching children about sexual positions, etc.

At the same time, liberals are against anyone teaching these same public school children about the options of celibacy, remaining a virgin until marriage, or about the health risks associated with homosexual behavior.

Liberals think it is okay and peachy fine to teach small kids and teens that behaviors some regard as immoral are “normal,” or to teach the “facts” of sex without any sort of moral guidance, or without telling the kids that NOT having sex is a totally valid option as well.

Liberals think it’s okay to omit from lectures about sex to children and teens that celibacy is an option (they mock this, actually, when it’s brought up under abstinence teaching).

Liberals and other types think it’s fine to teach their form of sexual education, which tends to be garbage – some of it, IMO, is perverted – to five year old children, to 12 year olds in junior high, or 15 year olds in high school. But they balk at some dude saying it’s advisable for a grown man to marry a teen?

I don’t see how their views on sexual issues are any better than Robertson’s quip that men should marry underage girls.

Liberals support and promote sexual deviancy, promiscuity, and hedonism to little children as young as five years of age all the way up to college age students, and they reject teaching celibacy as an option to kids, so I think they don’t have the moral high ground here at all.

— One Does Not Have to Have Sex or Engage in Other Sexual Behaviors to Possess Sexuality —

If liberals and libertarians were as open minded, non judgmental, and free about sex as they claim they are, they would be telling kids that yes, celibacy is indeed an suitable option for life, because celibacy is another form of sexuality.

Liberals are open to any and all forms of sex except for celibacy and virginity.

One does not have to have sexual intercourse to be sexual or to posses sexuality. Many Christians and Non Christians mistakenly believe that engaging in sexual activity is what makes a person sexual; it is not.

Think of it like this: suppose you have a 35 year old, hetero woman who has had sex a 100 times with 20 different men over her life time, but in the past six months, she has not had sex with a man at all, because she’s been too busy with life, or hasn’t met any men she is interested in having sex with.

Just for not having sexual intercourse, or any other sort of sexual activity for six months, does this mean she has ceased being a sexual being? No. Having sex is not what makes her sexual. Your sexuality remains intact whether you are boinking other people or not.

See, your liberals (and sadly, some Christians, Republicans, and social conservatives) have been snookered into thinking that sexuality is limited only to the following scenarios:
full on sexual intercourse (penis in vagina, penis in anus), oral sex; two people getting naked and groping each other; or one person sticking their fingers or penis into someone else’s body parts/mouth, or that sexuality only involves other, physical acts (such as masturbation).

You do not have to be doing any of that stuff to be sexual or possess sexuality.

Most all humans, with the possible exception of asexuals, are born with a sexual nature, whether they are boinking other people or not. That is, remaining celibate (abstaining from sex) is a form of sexuality. But liberals hate teaching about that particular form of sexuality. Liberals want to tell kids all about how to give each other blow jobs or how to pop a pill to avoid pregnancy, but they are loathe to explain that remaining a virgin is perfectly fine.

I am in my early 40s and am still a VIRGIN at this point in my life. Yet, I still have sexuality. Men flirt with me now on dating sites, have flirted with me in my 20s and 30s, and they view me as being “sexy.” (I look damn good in heels and skirts, if I do say so myself). One does not have to have a penis in one’s vagina at one point, and one does not have to suck on a man’s penis, to be sexy, to be deemed sexy, or to have sexuality.

I, as a 40 something virgin, am not asexual, I do not lack libido, and I am not a frumpy, androgynous-looking being.

I will say it again:
You do not have to actually be having sex to be sexual or to possess sexuality. You already have it, you are just choosing not to express it by getting naked with another person and groping their body or sucking on their genitals or exchanging bodily fluids.

(This is also tied closely to another secular and Christian myth: that one has to marry to be considered mature or a grown up. Wrong.

One can be past the age of 30, never have married, and be just as mature as any married person. In the same way, one does not have to be having sex to be a full grown up or to be sexual.

By the way, as I have explained time and again on this blog, some married people are selfish and immature, they get arrested, go to jail for crimes, and some married people write in to advice columnists complaining that their marriage has been sex-less for many years.)

On to the links about the latest Robertson controversy, with more commentary by me below these links:

This is from a left wing site:
(Link): ‘Duck Dynasty’ Star Phil Robertson Advises Men To Marry 15-Year-Old Girls

Continue reading “Virgins and Celibates are Sexual – Not Asexual and Androgynous – You don’t have to have sex to possess sexuality – Duck Dynasty TV Show Star Phil Robertson Says Men Should Marry Girls ‘when they are 15 or 16’”