Unmarried Man Kills Pregnant Neighbor Over Repeatedly Asking Him ‘When Are You Getting Married?’
Motherhood did not prevent this woman from being murdered, nor from being rude and a nag.
If there is one thing many un-married adults despise, it’s friends and family nagging them about “why aren’t you married yet,” “when are you getting married,” and “aren’t you dating anyone right now.” Nobody likes being hounded about things like that.
I don’t mean to confuse married adults out there – if you have a single friend who desires marriage, it is possible that she (or he) would maybe like to occasionally discuss it with you, and they are simply looking for an empathetic ear to listen to them talk about how disappointed or frustrated they are that they have not found a suitable partner yet.
That does not mean, however, that single adults who desire marriage want to be constantly hounded or grilled about their love lives all the time by married friends and family.
Single adults do want to be seen as full, whole people, so if you are friends with a single adult, ask them about their hobbies, their pet, their career, and not who they are dating – do not define your single friend by his or her singleness.
Do not make every conversation revolve around their dating life, or how they’re upset they’re still single…
but again, there may be times this single friend, yes, does want to vent about how tired they are being single, and you should make space for that, just listen and empathize, but resist the urge to give advice or platitudes in such situations.
I’m not condoning this guy murdering his neighbor, but I sure do understand why he felt motivated to do so. You people that badger singles about being single, who shame us for being single, are obnoxious and tiresome.
This story is from 2018, but I am just now seeing it in 2024.
(Link): 28-Year-Old Man Kills 32-Year-Old Pregnant Woman For Asking ‘When Are You Getting Married?’
Excerpts:
On 19 January 2018, a 28-year-old man murdered a pregnant lady who was his neighbor for repeatedly asking the suspect, “When are you getting married?” This outrageous incident took place in Kampung Pasir Jonge, Indonesia.
According to the reports, 28-year-old Faiz Nurdin killed a 32-year-old pregnant woman named Aisyah. …
(Link): Man kills neighbour over ‘When are you getting married?’ question
Excerpts:
February 2018
…But a 28-year-old man in Indonesia has taken it too far and murdered his pregnant neighbour after he was offended by her repeated inquiry about his singlehood, according to media reports.
The shocking incident took place in Kampung Pasir Jonge on January 19. The victim was identified as 32-year-old Aisyah.
According to reports, while visiting Faiz Nurdin that day at his house, Aisyah had asked him get married as soon as possible as others were already married, a police spokesperson quoted the perpetrator as saying.
The spokesperson said Faiz also felt offended when she asked him, “Why aren’t you getting married yet?” Later in the day, according to reports, an insulted Faiz went to Aisyah’s home and strangled her to death with his bare hands in her bedroom….
(Link): Man kills pregnant neighbour who asked “Why aren’t you getting married?”
by YODELE JOHNSON
February 7, 2018
A police spokesperson disclosed that the murder suspect felt irritated about a woman’s question asking when he was going to get married.
In Kampung Pasir Jonge, Indonesia, the police have arrested a 28-year-old man, Faiz Nurdin who strangled a pregnant neighbour when she asked him about
The deceased, Aisyah, a 32-year-old woman, was reportedly strangled to death in her bedroom following a conversation she had with the suspect at his residence.
Nurdin allegedly made away with the victim’s phone and a $59 cash after the alleged murder, presumably in a bid to clear his trail.
A police spokesperson who spoke anonymously confirmed that the murder suspect strangled the victim because he was angry about being pressured concerning tying the knot.
“Faiz get married, the others are already married, why aren’t you getting married yet?’ These words offended the suspect,” says a rep for Indonesia’s law enforcement department.
— end —
I’d really encourage married people to stop nagging or harassing their single friends to get married, stop grilling us singletons about our love lives (or lack there-of), stop asking us why we are still single, when are we getting married, and stop giving us your unsolicited opinion about why you think we are still single. We don’t need the shaming and blaming.
If we’re single and want to marry and would like to cry on your shoulder and vent about our unwanted singleness, then just listen and empathize on those occasions, but don’t constantly badger us about why we’re single, or ask us every time you speak to us if we are dating.
It’s obnoxious or can be hurtful. Don’t make our singleness our entire identity.
This lady badgered her single friend and shamed him over his singleness repeatedly, and she paid the ultimate price. There is a lesson here for all the married people who think it’s acceptable to constantly question or shame a single over their singleness.
Related:
(Link): ‘Why Are You Single’ Lists That Do Not Pathologize Singles by Bella DePaulo
(Link): Guy So Depressed Over Being Single He Cut Off His Own Penis (article)
(Link): Why Aren’t More People Getting Married? Ask Women What Dating Is Like. by A. L. Sussman
(Link): An Open Letter to Male Virgins by Anna Broadway
(Link): Celibate Christian Woman Asks Christian Host (Pat Robertson) Why God Will Not Send Her a Husband
(Link): Stop Telling Your Single Friends to Try Dating Sites – Please
(Link): Jesus Christ Removed the Stigma, Shame From Being Single and Childless – by David Instone Brewer
(Link): Who Are “Incels”? Behind the Misogynistic Ideology That Inspired The Toronto Suspect
(Link): I’m 45, Single And Childless. No, There’s Nothing ‘Wrong’ With Me. by M Notkin
(Link): I’m a [Single / Unmarried] Woman, and my Church Didn’t Know What To Do With That – by A D Abdallah
(Link): The Myth of the Career Woman by M. Notkin – Why Women Are Still Single in Their 30s and Older
(Link): When Adult Virginity and Adult Celibacy Are Viewed As Inconvenient or As Impediments
(Link): Fifteen Things You Shouldn’t Say or Do To Your Single Friends
(Link): The Obligatory, “Oh, but if you’re single you can still benefit from my marriage sermon” line
(Link): Five Things Single Women Hate to Hear
(Link): List of Christian Singlehood Annoyances, Part 1
(Link): List of Christian Singlehood Annoyances, Part 2
(Link): Myths About Never Married Adults Over Age 40
(Link): Six Hurtful Things to Stop Saying to Singles in Your Church by H. Bolinger
(Link): Please Stop Shaming Me for Being Single by J. Vadnal
(Link): Unmarried and Childless Women Are the Happiest, Happiness Expert Claims (2019 Study)
(Link): What Not to Say to Single Women in the Church by L. Anderson
(Link): Do You Feel Shame About Being Single? By John Amodeo, PhD
(Link): Celebrating Milestones in the Lives of Single Adults – by Anna Broadway
(Link): “Protect Yourself”: Gen X Woman Warns People Against The Tradwife Trend After Being One Herself
(Link): Worrying ‘Married Single Moms’ Trend Shows that Modern Relationships are ‘Not Working’
(Link): Women Are Divorcing – And Finally Finding Happiness by Lyn Lenz
(Link): Why Is the Pundit Class Suddenly So Marriage-Obsessed? by J. Weiss
(Link): Would Jesus Shame Single Christian Women? [No, He Would Not] by G. Dalfonzo
(Link): Adult Singles Do Not Need A Marital Partner to Be Whole or Complete
(Link): Really, It’s Okay To Be Single – In order to protect marriage, we should be careful not to denigrate singleness – by Peter Chin
(Link): Dear Prudence: Help! I’m Glad My Awful Husband Is Dead.
(Link): When Marriage and Motherhood Become Idols by J. Oshman
(Link): Matt Walsh Again Insults Single, Childless Woman For Being Single, Childless and Enjoying Her Life
(Link): Loving the Childfree People in Your Church, by S. Burden
(Link): Is Singleness A Sin? by Camerin Courtney
(Link): The Myth of the Career Woman by M. Notkin – Why Women Are Still Single in Their 30s and Older
(Link): Craigslist confessional: I’m in my 40s, never married, and a virgin—but I’m happy by Abigail
(Link): Why We Thought Marriage Made Us Healthier, and Why We Were Wrong by Bella DePaulo
(Link): I Want to Divorce My Unbelievably Selfish Husband, Advice by S. L. Brown
(Link): I’m in My 40s, Child-Free and Happy. Why Won’t Anyone Believe Me? By Glynnis MacNicol
(Link): Myth 18: Divorce is the Unpardonable Sin and ‘God Hates Divorce’ by G. Baskerville
(Link): Worrying ‘Married Single Moms’ Trend Shows that Modern Relationships are ‘Not Working’
(Link): Someone Asks Women What They Consider To Be A Bad Marriage, And They Don’t Hold Back (30 Answers)
(Link): The Nauseating Push by Evangelicals for Early Marriage
(Link): Myth 18: Divorce is the Unpardonable Sin and ‘God Hates Divorce’ by G. Baskerville
(Link): Dear Abby: I Just Got Out of the Hospital and My Husband Still Expects Me to Cook for Him
(Link): The Problem with Worshipping Romance by M. Lewis
(Link): Single Adult Christian Pressured Into Marriage by Her Church – And Regrets It
Christian Pundit 