What the Divorced and Widowed (and Never Married) Know That Married People Don’t by B. DePaulo

What the Divorced and Widowed (and Never Married) Know That Married People Don’t by B. DePaulo

I’ve done blog posts before, explaining how Married People have “Marriage Privilege,” which leaves them utterly blind of how single adults deal with cruelties and inconveniences that married couples never face, due to their marital status alone – even in churches!

Churches regularly marginalize single adults and in favor to “married with young children still living at home” couples. It happens constantly.

Then there are married women who treat their single adult women friends like after-thoughts or second class citizens, until their husbands have to leave town for six months (or longer) on work related jaunts, so then, suddenly, the married women start prioritizing their friendships with their single women friends (I’ve had this happen to me).

There are married people who divorce when they’re early to mid 30s, remain single until they re-marry in their 40s, and they will admit on other people’s blogs that post-divorce, where they were single again for a few years, they began being slighted, insulted, and/or overlooked by their church or married friends for being single.

I’ve had single women friends demote me or dump me altogether once they get a new boyfriend (or husband). 

It’s disgusting, but it happens quite often to single adults.

And it’s annoying and unfortunate that most married people do not realize just how much single adults are ostracized, taken advantage of, or treated like garbage by married friend couples, jobs, or churches, until they themselves become single again if their spouse divorces them or dies…
then all the sudden such married people, who are now single again, wake up from their slumber of “Married People Privilege” and see what never-married, middle-aged adults like myself have been enduring the entire time.

(Link): What the Divorced and Widowed Know That Married People Don’t by B. DePaulo

June 9, 2023

[Essay opens with DePaulo talking about an incident she heard about from a friend in the late 1990s of two couples where after one couple split apart and became singles again, the still-couple ostracized the now-single woman friend they had known for a long time]

I’m no longer shocked by stories like that because by now, I’ve heard plenty of them. What I still wonder when I hear them, though, is whether the couples that ostracize their newly single friends realize how rude, hurtful, stigmatizing (and in my opinion, immature) that can be. It is an example of singlism – the stereotyping, stigmatizing, and marginalizing of single people, and the discrimination against them.

In a recently published article in the Journal of Family Theory and Review, (Link): “Singlehood during later life,” Ashley E. Ermer and Jaclyn Elisa Keenoy of Montclair State University suggest that newly single people may become sensitized to singlism in a way that they had not been when they were married. “Married people often do not realize that they are perpetuating singlism until after they transition into singlehood after a marital loss,” they observed.

The social scientists pointed to research documenting “dyadic withdrawal,” academic jargon for what often happens when coupled relationships develop and the couple spends more and more time with each other and less time with the other people in their lives.

When they do socialize with other people, I think those people are increasingly likely to be other couples (rather than their single friends), though I do not know of any systematic research documenting that.

Pathologies of Victimhood by R. Gunderman – The Danger of Victimhood Mentality

Pathologies of Victimhood by R. Gunderman – The Dangers of Victimhood Mentality

I wanted to explain a few things before I paste in excerpts from the article about victimhood by Gunderman, so nobody will misunderstand my views upfront.

I do think there are actual victims out there in life, including in the Christian church context. I am not denying that.

I recognize that sometimes painful or unfair things happen to all of us in life, and sometimes those painful things are due to other people’s cruelty, incompetence, negligence, or sins against us, and not due to any personal moral failings or choices we make.

Sometimes bad things happen to good people through no fault of those people. One can be more sinned against than sinner.

A few years ago, there was a guy on Twitter with several accounts (he seemed to be a Christian), all of which were disgustingly used to mock victims of church abuse or of sexual abuse whose churches tried to cover up the abuse.

I think he later deleted these accounts, or his accounts received so many complaints from others that Twitter deleted them all.

One of his Twitter accounts used the name “Victim Princess,” as if to suggest that any and all women who spoke out against abuse they received by their churches or by Christians was nothing but entitled, petty whining with no merit. I was appalled by his account.

This guy would do things like actually tweet rude or nasty comments at Christian women on Twitter who discussed how their church covered up their abuse by other church members.

Politically, I am a conservative, and I do not agree with the vast majority of liberal or progressive “woke,” intersectional identity politics, which is largely based on victimhood mentality.

In progressive identity politics, different identity groups end up competing for “who is the most oppressed and biggest victim in life,” which creates (not solves) all sorts of problems.

However, while I do think that the “woke” go over-board with their grievance culture mentality, that does not mean that people who complain about having been hurt in life are always lying, exaggerating, or trying to get special accommodations.

Out of Knee Jerk Dislike of Wokeness, Among Other Factors, Sadly, Too Often, Too Many Conservatives Minimize Actual Abuse

While some progressives over-play the “victim card” to exploit and manipulate others, it is still wrong for conservatives to deny, minimize, or to reject altogether that churches do usually cover up sexual abuse in their midst or by their members.

It is wrong for conservatives to fail to acknowledge the reality that most pastors and churches do in fact fail domestic abuse victims and constantly enable abusers.

I do think that most churches are insensitive and incompetent at handling abuse among their members, and that should change.

There is such a thing as a victim. People can be exploited, hurt, and abused by other people – that is not something that “woke” liberals and progressives are making up.

I’m a conservative who has been taken advantage of and bullied through my life by school mates, my ex fiance, siblings, co-workers on jobs, etc., and this through no fault of my own.

Victims do actually exist.

Conservatives can and have been abused and mistreated on an individual and group level, whether by liberal and progressive persons and policies, or by their spouses or bosses on jobs.

At one time or another, we’ve all been bullied, abused, harassed, exploited, or on the receiving end of rude or cutting comments, regardless of our identity or political beliefs.

It is therefore unrealistic and cruel for conservatives to act like any and every person who claims victim status is a sensitive snowflake or is lying about it.

Flip Side of Coin: People Who Choose to Stay in Victimhood Status (yes, it’s ultimately a choice), Refuse to Move Forward

However, I have seen people, and groups of people, who – whether they are actual victims or not – wallow in victimhood status and victimhood mentality, and this is not acceptable, either.

Some of those still participating in the “exvangelical” (ex-evangelical) tag over on Twitter in 2022, which has been going on for several years now, are one example of this.

I’ve seen so many people, under that “exvangelical” tag,  as well as non-ex-evangelical people I once befriended online,
or people (including family members I’ve had, real life friends and co-workers) who may have been honestly victimized and wounded in childhood or adulthood, but they remain “stuck” in their rage, anger, and hurt – they still think of themselves as victims, and they want to be viewed as victims.

They want to be endlessly coddled and validated.

These are people who are very resistant to, or who refuse to take, the only avenue out of the pain, regret, anger, and disappointment and into joy, peace, and happiness – which includes, after a period of grieving and anger (that comes to an end and does not go on indefinitely),

• accepting, once for all, what happened to them,
  realizing that remaining focused on external causes and other people (ie, their abuser or abusive church) is keeping them “stuck,”
• to make a deliberate decision at some point to move forward, whether they “feel like it” or not
  (i.e., to no longer stew in anger, to ruminate, stew in past wrongs done against them, to dwell on how life is unfair, to dwell upon the idea they are a good person who didn’t deserve the abuse, etc),
• to realize in order to change their life for the better, they will have to look inwards,
  which will allow them to get to the next healing point…
• take personal responsibility for their life, healing,
  and realize if you want your life to change,
  you will have to get active and make changes yourself
  – sitting around all day doing things like watching TV or complaining to people on social media about how life, your former church, God, or your abuser, treated you so unfairly
  (even if any and all those things are in fact true, ie, you WERE treated horribly and unfairly)
  – won’t ultimately help you in the long run, it won’t make the necessary changes;
  complaining frequently, and receiving validation that, yes, what happened to you was horrible and wrong, and yes, you were a victim who didn’t deserve abuse, will only offer temporary emotional relief but will not produce long lasting inner peace and happiness

Stewing in anger, hurt, and regret and enjoying or wanting to receive validation that one did not deserve to be abused, is all but a step in the overall journey of healing.
It is the first step… but too many victims want to stay in Step One forever and ever, rather than moving through the rest of the steps.

Yes, there should be time limits on how long you are angry, ruminating, and upset and wanting to receive validation – a lot of therapists and victims (and former victims) get upset when this view point is stated, but it’s true.

Maybe that time limit is different for each victim and should not be rushed – which is fine.

HOWEVER, I do not support any person staying mired in “victimhood land” perpetually.

Staying in step one – never getting over or past the anger and hurt, refusing to let go or from even considering to do so, being addicted to external validation like it’s a drug one craves and needs – is one huge component of what keeps people trapped in depression, anger, pain, and from enjoying the rest of their life.

If you feel perpetually wounded, hurt, or angry, as long as you keep shifting blame towards those outside you (even if yes, those others deserve that blame), as long as you continue to dwell on being angry at your abuser, at God, life circumstances, or former churches that treated you like trash, you’ll never be able to move on and enjoy life again.

You have to look inwards in order to move forward, and that is a choice one has to make, because it won’t instantaneously happen.

Furthermore, your emotions will never magically change on their own; you will never “feel” like getting up, making changes, and moving forward. It’s a matter or choice and self discipline.

So if your mindset is, “I will make changes and move on when I feel like it, when my emotions change,” that is never going to happen.

Moving on is more a matter of will.

While I do think there are actual victims out there (and anti-woke conservatives need to be sensitive to these persons),
I’m also aware of legitimate victims who cannot or who refuse to move on,

-and there are persons with Covert or Vulnerable Narcissism (a personality disorder – more about that on this blog (Link): here and (Link): here), a hallmark of which is holding a life-long self-pitying, victimhood mentality – these people, of their own accord, are mired in depression and misery of their own making, because they refuse to look inwards and take personal responsibility.

Covert Narcissists, for one, prefer to point the finger of blame for their misery at their family of origin, God, and / or their former church, ex-spouses, and so on. They never want to look at how their attitudes or actions keep them in a limited, unhappy situation.

Sorry for that very long intro, but I didn’t want anyone to get to the following link and excerpts and think by posting it that I am in denial that yes, at times in life, sometimes people have legitimate pain and grievances and can be honest to goodness victims.

I do believe there are honest- to- goodness victims out there and that these victims deserve compassion, empathy, and justice,
but – however –
I am also aware that, unfortunately, some people, whether legitimate victim or not, will milk and exploit a “victim” label to lash out at others, to demand special treatment (at the expense of others), and that  clinging to a “victim” identity and view of themselves will cause them to remain stuck in unhappiness.

I have more commentary below this link with excerpts:

Pathologies of Victimhood – the Essay

(Link): Pathologies of Victimhood by R. Gunderman – Victimhood Mentality

Excerpts:

by Richard Gunderman
November 13, 2022

[Piece opens by discussing the late Sacheen Littlefeather, who claimed to be a Native American but who was actually of Mexican descent. She wanted to be viewed as a Native American to depict herself as an undertrodden member of a victim class.
As someone who actually is part Native American, I don’t view myself as a victim, so I find her ploy strange]

…Everyone has experienced genuine victimization at some point in their lives. Some have been the victims of political persecution and violent assault, while others have suffered lesser slights, such as bullying, verbal insults, and interruptions when speaking.

Most of us have also experienced situations where presumed victimhood stemmed from a mistaken assumption—for example, a driver who “cut off” a fellow motorist by abruptly changing lanes might appear to harbor malicious intent, but it might turn out that he was merely attempting to get to the hospital as quickly as possible to be with an ailing loved one.

Some among us, however, have a habit of adopting a posture of victimhood too easily and too often, a tendency that can damage communities, interpersonal relationships, and supposed victims themselves.

Evangelical Adoptions: Churches Are AWOL in Helping Parents of Special Needs Kids by Julia Duin – Churches Are Useless (and Not Just Re: Adoptive Families)

Evangelical Adoptions: Churches Are AWOL in Helping Parents of Special Needs Kids by Julia Duin – Churches Are Useless (and Not Just Re: Adoptive Families)

By Julia Duin, who has also written and has been interviewed about how churches have let down single adults over the age of 30, and who wrote a wonderful book called “Quitting Church.”

This article discusses how so many evangelical churches encouraged Christian couples to adopt babies (usually from foreign nations), but once those adopted babies grew up to have all sort of developmental or personality disorders, churches would not help these parents.

This is like so much of American, evangelical, Baptist and Protestant Christianity:
Sell a certain deed, or a type of life style (or whatever it may be – let’s call it “X,” whether it’s adopting a baby, or whatever it is) as being so “godly” and “pure,” but once you live X out, and X either does not work out, or it creates a whole new batch of problems, those same Christians, or ones like them who promote X, refuse to help you.

I went through something similar in regards to adult singlehood. I wrote about that (Link): here.

I followed all the Christian dating advice I was taught as a teen and 20- something, Christian advice that taught me if I wanted to get married I would, if I just followed “biblical” wisdom, and the Christian persons, books, and magazine articles spelled it out for me.

However, when I remained single into my mid-30s, in spite of having followed the Christian teaching I had been given by other Christians when younger, and when I began asking Christians online (on various blogs and discussion forums) who dish out this swill to singles, why I didn’t have the husband I had been promised according to their teaching, interpretations, and worldview, I was yelled at, judged, and criticized by these Christians.

I was told God didn’t owe me anything, etc, and how dare I expect God to “reward” me with a spouse just because I did Z, Q, and R (i.e., just because I had followed Christian teaching and advice on the topic).

Christians will do this to you – they will sell you and market you on doing X, and so you carry out X, but five, ten years later, X did not work out and maybe even left you with a set of problems you need help with, the same Christians that sold you X in the first place are now not willing to help you, and may even insult you when you go to them telling them that X did not work, and you could use their help.

You end up getting punished for taking the very life-style advice, for buying the marketing, these Christians sold you, guilt tripped you, or conned you into taking in the first place. 😤🤬😡😣😫

It’s demonic and perverse, I swear.

It is crazy-making and despicable how Christians set people up in these no-win or stressful or miserable situations, then fault those people when they try the Christian advice, and admit to defeat, stress, and they ask for help.

Christians set people up for failure with their stupid advice, then have the audacity to victim-blame those people (who earnestly took and followed the advice) for failing. 😡😤🤬

After having read through the testimonies of the parents on this page (see below, link with excerpts), it sounds like exhausting, hellish work to raise these adoptive children who turn out to have medical and behavioral problems.

I cannot, in good conscience, condemn any adult who realizes after so many months or years, they don’t have the mental or physical strength to keep parenting such children and so decide to return these children back to the adoption agency.

I appreciate the work Dee of Wartburg Watch has done against abuse, but I recall years ago, she ripped into famous Christian speaker Beth Moore, because Moore returned one of her adoptive children back to his mother.

I wrote about that situation (Link): here, towards the end of the post, under the sub-heading “Beth Moore / Judgementalism.” (You can scroll down that page to find the Beth Moore section, which is buried under a long discussion about YEC.)

It’s very easy to sit in judgment of someone else when or if your life is more or less going okay at the time and the person you’re criticizing has a life that is falling apart, or they’re in the middle of a calamity, or you may have a different temperament or inner strength the person you’re criticizing lacks.

I personally do not think I’d have the fortitude, endurance, or patience to put up with an adoptive kid who acts out constantly, even into their late teens. I’d want a break from that, too.

I have way, way more comments below this long excerpt, so please keep scrolling to read everything; thank you:

(Link): Evangelical adoptions: Churches are AWOL in helping parents of special needs kids

Excerpts:

by Julia Duin
June 2022

For years, evangelical Christians were enthusiastic supporters of adoption by sponsoring conferences, targeting adoption-friendly Sundays and staging adoption fairs in parish halls.

… Parents now say that the churches that encouraged them to adopt in the first place aren’t there for them now.

…Few statistics exist on the number of adoptions gone wrong, other than a 10-year-old study by the US Department of Health and Human Services reporting “adoption disruptions” ranging from 10-25 percent. This little-known statistic points to a meltdown in the industry and a sign that adoption and foster care have become a landmine for many families who believed God had called them to help these children.

No one told them there could be an aftermath. Here are some of their stories.

[I will not be pasting in ALL stories. These are just a few from the page]

Evangelicals adopted at a higher rate than others
“Joy” was a social worker in Tacoma, Washington, who adopted a 9-year-old boy in 2000, hoping for the best. She had 32 years of experience working for the state and a Christian agency where she’d helped more than 600 people adopt foster children.

The divorced mother of two was prepared for challenging behavior, including attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and developmental delays and PTSD from the child’s six years with mentally ill biological parents.
What stunned her was that by age 15, her son was a registered sex offender. Bad relationships, drug abuse and a child out of wedlock followed. Now 30, he cannot hold down a job.

An Assessment of the Article “Why the Religion of Self-Care is Really Sanctified Selfishness” – Christian Author is Indirectly Promoting Codependency, Which is Harmful

An Assessment of the Article “Why the Religion of Self-Care is Really Sanctified Selfishness” – Christian Author is Indirectly Promoting Codependency, Which is Harmful

A link to this article, from a site and Twitter account called “Truth Over Tribe,” came through my Twitter feed today.

I don’t think I am following these guys; this was a suggestion by Twitter that appeared in my timeline. The “Truth Over Tribe” site says on their site that they are “too liberal for conservatives and too conservative for liberals.”

Okay… I’m somewhat in the same place. I’m a conservative who occasionally disagrees with other conservatives, but I sure don’t agree with many positions of progressives.

After having skimmed over some articles on this site – the site owner and author seems to be a Patrick Miller – he seems to lean left of center.

I can tell he’s left of center from some of the commentary and language he’s used – for one, in the article below, he puts his Intersectional Feminism (a left wing concept) on full display by talking about how “self care” was really started by black people, white women love it, and these days, only white woman can (financially) afford it. (Though I didn’t quote those portions of his article below, but they are over on his site.)

(Does Miller realize that left wing darling BLM (Black Lives Matter) is misleading people financially or that they spend more on transgenderism than on race related issues?)

At any rate, let’s get on to the article on this site that alarmed me, and I will provide a few excerpts, and then I will comment on them to explain why I feel this piece goes horribly wrong:

(Link):  Why the Religion of Self-Care is Really Sanctified Selfishness

Excerpts:

by Patrick Miller

“To be happy, you need to leave toxic people behind.” The preaching Peloton instructor continued, “I’m talking about people who take more than they give. People who don’t care about your dreams. People whose selfishness impedes your ability to do what you want to do.”

 Oh crap. She just described my two-year-old. I guess it’s time to cut him off.

This is the gospel of self-care. The notion that the most important person in my life is me, and anyone who impedes my happiness is an existential threat to my emotional and physical well-being. …

… What’s the Religion of Self Care?

Christian College Accused of Banning Student for Having Premarital Sex After She Reported Rape

Christian College Accused of Banning Student for Having Premarital Sex After She Reported Rape

I do believe that the Bible forbids both rape and pre-marital sex, but rape is obviously not the same thing as “pre-marital sex” in the ‘normal’ sense.

Christian colleges and complementarians need to stop conflating the two – what such Christians do when they conflate both is to victim-blame rape victims, which is disgusting.

(Link): She told her Christian college she was raped. Then she was banned from campus.

A new federal complaint says Visible Music College gave a student a choice: admit to breaking the school’s ban on premarital sex or be expelled.

April 29, 2022
By Tyler Kingkade

When Mara Louk told an administrator at Visible Music College, where she was a senior, that a male classmate had choked and raped her last November, she expected that school officials would help her file a police report and arrange a safety plan.

Instead, she said in a federal complaint filed with the U.S. Department of Education on Wednesday, administrators at Visible, a Christian college in Memphis, Tennessee, accused her of breaking school rules against premarital sex with a different student, an ex-boyfriend.

She denied having sex with him but said the school threatened to expel her unless she signed a confession and finished the school year remotely.

Visible Music College administrators also told her they would not remove the accused student from her classes because police didn’t arrest him, nor would they conduct a Title IX investigation, because the alleged assault happened off campus. And administrators attempted to bar Louk from telling anyone else at the school that she had been raped, she said.

Woman Refuses To Help Devout Christian Parents Going Through Financial Crisis Because She Was Disowned By Them 9 Years Ago for Working as a Stripper

Woman Refuses To Help Devout Christian Parents Going Through Financial Crisis Because She Was Disowned By Them 9 Years Ago for Working as a Stripper

This site reproduced a lot of this woman’s story via screen captures, so I won’t be sharing those here, nor do I plan on typing up the text in all those .jpg or .gif images of her text.

If you want to see the full story, you’ll have to use the link below to visit their site to view their screen caps of her typing.

(Link): Woman Refuses To Help Parents Going Through Financial Crisis Because She Was Disowned By Them 9 Years Ago

Excerpts:

…However, is it okay to expect support from someone whom you turned down when they were in need? Is it okay to expect support from a daughter you disowned many years ago for not being religious?

While most daughters would love to help their parents in need, Redditor u/Born-Problem-8280 refused to do so because she was disowned by them 9 years ago. OP (Original Poster) was feeling slightly guilty for not helping her parents who have medical conditions and are going through a bankruptcy phase. So, she turned to this popular subreddit and asked other users to know if she was right or wrong.

This woman got disowned by her religious parents because she became a stripper

[omit screen caps of the woman’s story – I don’t want to place them on my site or type them]

She wanted to go to a normal college but her parents insisted her to go to a Christian college

The OP revealed that her parents were religious and wanted her to pursue education in a Christian college instead of a regular one. When she refused their idea and went to a normal college, her parents stopped paying her college tuition.

Married Father of Three Pastor Allegedly Committed Adultery, Raped Junior Woman Church Staffer, Used Church Funds to Fund Lavish Lifestyle

Married Father of Three Pastor Allegedly Committed Adultery, Raped Junior Woman Church Staffer, Used Church Funds to Fund Lavish Lifestyle

Does being a male, married, and a parent make a person smarter, more ethical, godly, compassionate, or responsible than being a woman, single, or childless? Why no, Al Mohler and other marriage, patriarchy, complementarian, and parenthood promoters, it surely does not, but you guys keep promoting that falsehood.

(Link): Hillsong Dallas pastor Reed Bogard was accused of rape by junior staffer he had an affair with before he and his wife were fired for using church donations to fund their lavish lifestyle

Excerpts:

by Jennifer Smith
March 25, 2022

Hillsong Dallas pastor Reed Bogard was secretly accused of raping a younger, female staffer who he had an affair with in 2013, it has been revealed.

Bogard was ousted from the church along with his wife last year amid claims they had been misappropriating church donations to fund their lavish lifestyle.

Now, it has emerged that he had an affair between October 2013 and 2014 with a junior female staffer.

It remains unclear if the allegation has ever been reported to the police.

More Hillsong Pastors Step Down Following Leader’s Resignation, Doc Release

More Hillsong Pastors Step Down Following Leader’s Resignation, Doc Release

(Link): Hillsong pastors say they warned Brian Houston about Carl Lentz’s immoral behavior, were ignored

By Jeannie Ortega Law, Christian Post Reporter

Former Hillsong pastors Zhenya and Vera Kasevich allege that Hillsong founder Brian Houston was made aware of Carl Lentz’s immoral behavior, yet refused to address his actions due to the church’s culture of “secrecy.”

(Link): More Hillsong Pastors Step Down Following Leader’s Resignation, Doc Release

Excerpts:

March 28, 2022
By Hannah Frishberg

These shepherds are running to greener pastures.

Yet another set of Hillsong megachurch pastors stepped down this weekend, following the resignation of church founder and former leader Brian Houston last week, as well as the release of Discovery+’s three-part docuseries on the church, produced in association with The Post.

“After much prayer and pastoral counsel, we have decided to withdraw from Hillsong Church,” Terry, 57, and Judith Crist, 60, the now former lead pastors of Hillsong’s Phoenix, Arizona, branch wrote congregants in an internal Friday email that has been viewed by The Post.

More Hillsong Pastors Step Down Following Leader’s Resignation, Doc Release

More Hillsong Pastors Step Down Following Leader’s Resignation, Doc Release

(Link): Hillsong pastors say they warned Brian Houston about Carl Lentz’s immoral behavior, were ignored

By Jeannie Ortega Law, Christian Post Reporter

Former Hillsong pastors Zhenya and Vera Kasevich allege that Hillsong founder Brian Houston was made aware of Carl Lentz’s immoral behavior, yet refused to address his actions due to the church’s culture of “secrecy.”

(Link): More Hillsong Pastors Step Down Following Leader’s Resignation, Doc Release

Excerpts:

March 28, 2022
By Hannah Frishberg

These shepherds are running to greener pastures.

Yet another set of Hillsong megachurch pastors stepped down this weekend, following the resignation of church founder and former leader Brian Houston last week, as well as the release of Discovery+’s three-part docuseries on the church, produced in association with The Post.

“After much prayer and pastoral counsel, we have decided to withdraw from Hillsong Church,” Terry, 57, and Judith Crist, 60, the now former lead pastors of Hillsong’s Phoenix, Arizona, branch wrote congregants in an internal Friday email that has been viewed by The Post.

Inside Disgraced, Disheveled Ex-Hillsong Pastor Carl Lentz’s Downgraded House

Inside Disgraced, Disheveled Ex-Hillsong Pastor Carl Lentz’s Downgraded House

(Link): Inside Disgraced, Disheveled Ex-Hillsong Pastor Carl Lentz’s Downgraded House

March 9, 2022
By Hannah Frishberg

Ex-Hillsong megachurch pastor Carl Lentz is looking worse for the wear — as is his home.

Photos emerged this week of both Justin Bieber’s former spiritual advisor and his new house, both appearing to have fallen quite far from grace since the father of three was fired from the church for infidelity in late 2020.

The photos also come just weeks before Discovery Plus is set to release “Hillsong: A Megachurch Exposed,” a three-part docuseries on the controversial congregation.

The formerly chiseled Christian leader was pictured with long, unkempt curly hair and without his trademark glasses while at an airport ahead of check-in for a Friday morning flight, according to photos first published by The Sun.

Carl Lentz’s Alleged Mistress Speaks Out in Hillsong: A Megachurch Exposed Trailer: ‘Toxic’

Carl Lentz’s Alleged Mistress Speaks Out in Hillsong: A Megachurch Exposed Trailer: ‘Toxic’

Update Below

(Link): Carl Lentz’s Alleged Mistress Speaks Out in Hillsong: A Megachurch Exposed Trailer: ‘Toxic’

February 16, 2022

The Discovery+ docuseries premieres on March 24

Hillsong Church was a star-studded house of worship, but scandal has overshadowed its charismatic brand of Christianity in recent years. Now a Discovery+ docuseries, Hillsong: A Megachurch Exposed, delves deep into the headlines — including former pastor Carl Lentz.

Once a spiritual confidant of Justin Bieber, Lentz was ousted from Hillsong in November 2020, ending a 10-year tenure because of what the church described as “moral failures.”

Soon he publicly admitted to being unfaithful to his wife Laura, whom he married in 2003 and with whom he shares three children.

Amid the fallout, Ranin Karim, a New York woman who said she met Lentz at a Brooklyn park in May 2020, alleged she was his mistress.
“It was the most toxic thing I’ve ever had to deal with,” Karim says in the newly released trailer for Hillsong: A Megachurch Exposed, which Discovery+ will stream in three parts.

Sexist Double Standards from Christian Dave Ramsey and Ramsey Solutions

Sexist Double Standards from Christian Dave Ramsey and Ramsey Solutions

(Link):  What ‘Living Righteously’ Means at Dave Ramsey’s Company

Excerpts:

Former employees describe a gossipy culture of paranoia and suspicion where women are subject to special scrutiny and rebuke

Dec 2021
by Steven Hale

…The Hogan controversy and the O’Connor suit have raised questions and brought forth new allegations about how the culture at Ramsey Solutions affects women.

O’Connor’s lawyers have argued that the company’s policy about sex outside of marriage is effectively harsher on women for the obvious reason that they will be exposed if they become pregnant.

Former Ramsey employees who spoke to the Scene — two women and a man who spoke under the condition of anonymity for fear of attracting the ire of a man whose orbit they’ve tried to leave — describe a gossipy culture of paranoia and suspicion in which everything from women’s clothing to which co-workers they spend time with is subject to scrutiny and rebuke.